“Ok, so I get that I shouldn’t be comparing myself to other people necessarily,” you are saying after the last blog post, “but that’s difficult. After all, aren’t we in an industry where we are constantly being compared to other talent?”
It’s so true – it is both hard and unfair to be asked not to compared our achievements/experiences to someone else’s. My mother’s favorite quote as we were growing up was “life isn’t fair.” It doesn’t make me any happier to hear those words today, even knowing now that she was right. But what does make me feel more light-hearted is knowing that we can learn to change our comparison perspective, and in learning to do so, can avoid all the hurt, disappointment, and frustrations that are the result of unfair comparisons. (Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure my mom doesn’t read the blog, so she won’t yell at me this time.)
If you are up for the challenge, Lopez tells us the benefits of learning to be self-referential . . .
Self-referential people are more hopeful than those of us who see everyone else’s path as possibly better than our own, says Lopez. They have their own personal goals, and constantly turn their focus to those.
This kind of thinking can be destructive to other opportunities. When your roller coaster talent world starts to take a dive, stop and ask yourself who you are comparing your achievements / opportunities / profit with. Then stop and envision the self-referential comparison. It will bring your focus back to achieving your goals and give you motivation to move through the hard times unscathed. Can you learn to be self-referential?