Rejection is one of the hardest things we face as humans. Our nature is to want to feel accepted; and even beyond that to feel appreciated, valuable, and respected. When those needs and desires aren't meant, we are left with a choice. How do we respond to rejection?
This week's posts are in the words of other working actors. Glean what you can from their perspectives and try each philosophy until you find one that works well for you. As unique as you are, your needs are unique as well. What works well for another talent may not work well for you . . . but you'll only find what does work for you by practicing suggested philosophies until you find that what you are practicing is more comfortable than your current response.
How do you respond to rejection?
Terri J. Freedman
Los Angeles; credits include Confessions, The Journey
Most of the rejection I deal with, thanks to high school, is second nature, and I just move on. But when I don't get called in for a role or get called back or book a role I would have given up my car for, I rely on the belief that there is a reason I didn't get it. I try to see the situation as a gain. Did I meet a new casting director? Did I learn a little more about my most, or least, marketable type? Did I figure out why [that big agency or client] hasn't called?
Self-delusion aside, when I consider that my career isn't limited to a single pilot and episodic season [but] rather, decades of seasons -- and people say L.A. has no seasons -- I feel ridiculous having gotten so upset at one single loss. The beauty of Hollywood is that stories are always regurgitated, and you will get many, many more chances to play the role of your dreams. Sure, there will be plenty of rejections coming my way -- bigger and better ones. It's a sign of greatness, really. But, lest we forget the most important thing, [casting director] Donna Cassell and [acting coach-author-director] Judy Kerr remind me, "You will work again in this business."
Great post! It's always good to remember that though you may get rejected, you will have many other opportunities to try to get another role! Think about it this way, if athletes gave up every time they missed a goal, then we would have no historic legends such as Babe Ruth or Michael Jordan. It's all about perseverance, especially in this kind of business!
Posted by: DC | 08/18/2011 at 10:16 PM
Since getting into the professional acting field, I've yet to land a single job from an audition. In fact, for twenty years I made more money per year and worked more hours as an actor when I was a non-profit. However, I really didn't get into this game to aggressively show off my acting skills, make lots of money and beat out the competition. There's no winning in that game. When I go to an audition, I go for three reasons: 1. to sharpen my acting skills, 2. to meet new folks and keep tabs on how things are done (or not done) in the industry, 3. to have some fun. It's just another challenge and nothing to get nervous about. You'll either get the job or you won't. No need to fret or worry over it. There really is no rejection in this game - only a part that the client doesn't feel is right for you. The best thing is that you simply tried. That's why they call it "trying out for a part." If you don't try, you'll never get the job. (And, I'll be the first to admit that many auditions are an alien and strange environment to begin with).
To my way of thinking, if the client looked me in the face and said, "You are not doing this well enough to warrant my hiring you. You are not a good actor. Please don't ever come here and waste my time again." Well now, that is real rejection, something few of us will ever have the displeasure of witnessing. However, in most instances, the client is simply picking the subjective best from a field of very good choices. Or they simply pick a known actor with known skills they are familiar with. Just a simple and personal judgment call based upon the client's experience.
On the positive side, once I have landed a job with any client, (and I've had a lot of jobs in my life) I've never been fired. My ethic is to make sure my employers get better than they ask for. So, going into this business with enough self confidence to know your own strengths and weaknesses is probably a good bet. And, as in any market driven business, leave your ego at the front door. Some folks will like what you do, and others will not. That's simply the way life works.
Posted by: Jack Cook | 08/23/2011 at 10:02 AM